Contest #1 (4/25/05)

"Just testing, guys. (Really, Marshall -- it's me, Pam.)"

"So then Bjork said . . ." 

"They're all stupid."

"I have just one word for you: 'cladistics!'"

"Which one of them will oversee my living will?"

"Of course they notice! Now put on your rat suit, the subjects have stopped dancing and I can't hear Tone Loc for another hour." 

"Guys. come look at this. 'That's the second biggest mouse I've ever seen' Mousewell Smart"

"Ratzinger: 1. One-liner about a guy in a rat costume. 2. Pope"

"The focus group facilities were all booked, sir, so we switched to the participant-observation method. They seems to be displaying an approach-avoidance behavior to this new Big Cheez Cola, and wonder when they'll be getting their free Three Muskateers bars?"

"Ruldolph, lecturing rats, 'This conditioned experimenter wears costume, we turn experimenter feeds, records orienting response, and published, "Conditioning Unobtrusive Surrogate Orienting in My Rat Family."'"

 "I think I'm gay"

"All we'd hoped for were twins."

"To enter their world. To be the rat. To think and act like Rattus rattus. Oh, and Wilkens, sorry about the nip on the testes." 

"Singing: 'I think I'll change my name to BEN-E-DIIIIIICT!' (Sorry.)"

"Quick! Who rejects my nipples."

"'Laboratory Creationsim: The Role Call' ...Hickory, Dickory, Dock, GeorgeWalkory, Trickory, Tock, Bushory, Snickory, Schlock..."

"Accross the top to read; OVER - ACHIEVING RESEARCHER caption: Note to self, schedule lasik"

"Poor Ken Auletta just couldn't see where this cable thing was heading."

"I think talking to 'em about abstinence is dumber than showing them Passion of Christ last week..."

"Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith: This is how I listened to the junior people, Herr Doctor. It's the new culture of life."

"I LIKE TO THINK I'M BRINGING THEM HOPE IN WHAT THEY PERCEIVE AS A HOPELESS SITUATION."

"I think so."

"They wanna know if Omarosa's coming back."

"The top mice live in NY. The bottom ones live in California and get the magazine on April 23th. The caption is due on the 24th. The test is: which mice get really irritated."

"Squeek squeek squeek squeek squeek squeek squeek (p < .002) squeek squeek squeek squeek (p = .82) squeek squeek squeek squeek (p < .05)."

"Harriet Fuhrbaum is again complaining about unwelcomed attentions from Zach Knestor."