"You want WHAT kind of asparagus?"
"I'll leave at 1:30 if they want to leave at 1:45 if you are leaving at 2:00 if she is staying to 2:10 if they are going at 2:30."
"I'm not Chinese! I'm Korean"
"ROAD TESTING POLICY: 'Sample all likely possibilities.'"
"Lucky me. A bumper crop."
"Anybody see a hat?"
"OMG! can u believe I'm in a 6 car pile up?!!! LOL"
"Hi there. Does the Jolly Burger still come with fries and the little prize?"
"911, Please send a 'Ladder Truck' We have a pileup on 'Washington DC Street'"
"PC publishers has just released the gender-equal version of the Princess and the Pea for girls called 'The Prince and the Piston Ring'."
"'Did I do that?' *fixes glasses and snaps suspenders*"
"Resigned to his role as a road warrior, Clem thought to himself: This gives new meaning to 'pile up' on the interstate."
"Call Carl! I mean, Charlemagne!"
"As asserted in the movie, 'The Player:' 'Traffic is a bitch.'"
"As Madeline Kahn said in 'What's Up Doc,' what more can they do to me?"
"Flash Mob in Detroit, circa 1960"
"Car-Face"
"A widening gap accross the bridge Emergency crews have not arrived. People in cars, people in cars They have all fallen down! (Sing to 'A Ring Around The Rosie'.)"
"As long as werewolves can't climb, I'll be okay."
"It's 1-800-HOGWART"
"Don't twerk and drive."
"...ALAS, AFTER THE GPS LADY UTTERED RECALCULATING FOR THE TENTH TIME SHE LET OUT A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM...HENCE..."
"This is a 9/11 of an inside job!"
"Humans have finally figured out how to drive over each other, rather than smashing into one another, therefore lessoning their car insurance bills and unsavory fatalities."
"Uberduper."
"Now let's all act civilly when the Pope arrives."
"Does anyone down there have a copy of Adele's latest?"
"Oh, marvelous me!"
"Thumbless in Michigan."
"I prefer a 40 year old scotch"
"WHAT A DAY FOR A CAR ORGY"
"This new green and clean carpooling idea seems to be working okay, except now I have to poop."
"Horn if you're honky."
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