Contest #488 (9/7/15)

 

"John: I am home sick. I think I will visit mother Earth, tomorrow. Alice: Oh good! Pick up some wine. We are all out."

"Let's take the M Train to Moonhattan, and walk in the earthlight."

"Jeeze! Countries look just like ants."

"~sigh~"

"Ah!! yes, it used to be a great place to live before pollution dirty air, rivers lakes and streams tainted by mankind. So lets drink to her for she was a grand old lady." 

"I was a middle child." 

"When the genie granted our wish to live beside an out-of-the-world new Subway, I had delicious ham sandwiches in mind." 

"Well, at least there's no one up here to make fun of you for throwing up in that revolving restaurant."

"I was a lost astronaut and it only took a glass of wine,with her, to find home. She thought it was her but intuition let her down just as her hand let the glass of wine. She ignored the fact that she made this happen and I damn my misdirected gaze."

"Xptro kz botrwc 'no climate change' vfr qdrtwttz!" 

"My wife left me for my body." 

"Kay, it's a full earth!! But I can't forget how they forced us to leave permanently when they heard we wanted to make our honeymoon last forever...Oh well Fred, it wasn´t easy living under the new 'literal meaning' law to avoid miscommunications.."

"Me Tarzan. You Gin." 

"you know 'Babe we are ' dreaming(. no stress.) just peace and Quite. no tv. no argueing when I say 'run ' ' run' for your life.& don't 'look back' stress is every one life." 

"WE CAN STILL MAKE IT TO THE ROD STEWART CONCERT." 

"Interplanetary metro. Philip Johnson digs. Wine in the welcome basket. And the gosh-darned view! This Mormon thing is workin' out after all." 

"Earth girls WERE easy." 

"I miss the little children." 

"We are not on the Moon, darling! We are in a pollution-free zone and Moon is reflecting our Western hemisphere!" 

"Gerrymander this!!"

"earth is bae AF, imo" 

"? i can't feel deez nuts when i'm with you ?" 

"This is the 'game-changing new technology' that Obama promised was going to take us 'further, faster and more affordably into space'? Drink up, dear. Unless there’s a teleporter down there, we’re gonna be here a while…" 

"What day are the Wicked tickets?"

"Let's name it Selfie."

"Subterranites getting turnt on a Tuesday." 

"As far as I'm concerned, the outside men's bathroom is a big step backward." 

"Skrinnx garuuupto Trumpageddon."

"How are you enjoying your glass of berzerker urine, Martha?" 

"Thank god the Golden Opulence Sundae is here now !" 

"KEVIN!"

"'Brain Damage' just wouldn't have been as good"

"We have finally distanced ourselves far enough from the potential global nightmare of Trump's presidency.. Cheers to gender equality!"

"we could watch a porno?"